Wednesday, April 27, 2011

On a Personal Note: Lessons in Humility

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I tend to look for themes in my life. I like to learn and themes help me connect the dots. A theme right now is humility . Or rather, the process of being humbled. Maybe from the outside people wouldn't guess this. I had a baby this year, my husband got a dream job at a great church, we made a "daring" move by relocating across the country and I get to now stay home full time. But behind all of this has been the stripping of many, many things that used to give me a false sense of security and comfort and made me not as tangibly feel my need for God.

I no longer have a job where I receive feedback and praise for my efforts on a daily basis. I now do the same simple daily tasks of wiping down the high chair, changing diapers and picking up clutter. And it's a job that I often don't feel completely proud of. The house could always be cleaner, Graham's activities could be more creative and I should have always gotten more done in a whole day or at least feel that I should have had a better attitude in the process.

Besides now being at home, just becoming a Mom has been humbling. I so often don't know what to do. I realize that most things I've attempted in my life have felt at least doable. But motherhood is confusing! Just when you think you've figured it out, your child changes.

On top of this, moving meant leaving a place where I had built a reputation for years and felt known. Now I have to offer myself to new people and risk being rejected or even just not liked. It's shown me how much I want to be admired and appreciated. It's hard to see those parts of my heart.

Mother Teresa once said, "We must be free of things to be full of God." I would have thought that only meant material things before but now I think it means more.

We have to be free of the things we depend on in order to feel our need for God.

If being humbled means understanding my need for the gospel more deeply then I don't want to go back.

"For everyone who exalts himself with be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
-Luke 14:11


4 comments:

  1. So well written, Lauren. Thanks for sharing and reminding me to be looking for themes in my own life!

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  2. Lauren, I felt like I could have written a lot of that... praying the Lord continues to remind you that you are still (and always will be) so known by Him.

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  3. Thanks for sharing..so good.

    To quote a hymn:

    "All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him"

    God is so pleased with you, in Jesus!
    Mary Kay

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  4. Thanks for the feedback...encouraging! Love that hymn quote MK.

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