Monday, April 30, 2012
Behind the scenes: Exposure
5 years ago this month these engagement pictures were posed and taken.
We look young and enamored and put together.
We are still young (kind of, right?) and enamored (in more deep ways) but I think we are less put together.
That's what marriage has done to me.
It has exposed me. The real me. The me that wakes up with bad breath and hair that resembles a tangled lion's mane. The me that thinks about herself first thing in the morning and and last thing at night and many more times throughout the day. The me that would usually like to win an argument instead of pursuing peace especially if peace will cost me admitting I'm wrong. The me that is controlling and anxious and angry. I'm thinking maybe a new blog name is in order...Simply Sinful Mom? Catchy? I don't think so either :)
So is exposure in marriage to be celebrated or dreaded? Does it lead to disillusionment or deep love? Tim Keller, in The Meaning of Marriage, suggests that exposure is part of falling in love in marriage that leads to looking at your spouse and not seeing only their imperfections but hints of the person God is creating!
He compares it to Michelangelo carving the David out of marble. Michelangelo is quoted saying he had carved it by "taking away the parts that weren't David."
What a definition of love! To say to another person that you see who they are and how they fail but you also see them growing into who God has created them to ultimately be.
Keller goes on to paint the picture of us getting to see our spouse someday perfected and the idea that we may say to them: "I knew you could be like this...I got glimpses on earth but now look at you!"
I love that. The idea that marriage is fueled by being committed to your spouse becoming who they are intended to be and journeying with them through that process, knowing the completion is yet to come.
How would this change the way I offer grace to my husband?