Friday, October 19, 2012

Behind the scenes: 5 things

I wanted to share a few things I learned (or at least observed) while lying on my couch the month of September and much of October as well.  Some of it was not pretty and I'm even more sure that none of it is without purpose.

1. I love comfort in life.
Health.  Coffee.  Vacation.  Good Food.  Ease.
And when these things weren't able to bring me comfort for 6 weeks I saw myself respond with disappointment.  I really expect life to be comfortable and yet that is absolutely not promised or guaranteed or deserved.
My love of being comfortable can keep me from giving when it "costs" me too much.

2. Feeling like I'm a good mom is too important to me.
As my child sat in front of the tv for hours and days on end, my view of myself plummeted and therefore, my mood.  Apparently I often parent out of wanting to feel good about myself and not for the sake of loving Graham or God.

3. It's hard for me to ask and to receive help because I'm prideful.  So many friends offered to help and many did but it was such a struggle to receive because I wanted to be able to handle it all on my own.

4. We know God more through suffering.  God showed me more of myself through how I responded to this season and therefore more of His grace and my desperate need of it.

5.  Gratitude is the antidote to depression, fear and selfishness.  Being grateful is a mindset choice.  Our emotions follow our mindset so we are to think about what it true, lovely, pure, honorable right, etc. and all of those things produce gratitude.

Ok, he didn't want TV for six weeks straight but he was in pjs almost everyday.

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