So, my two worst fears in life are vomit and bumpy plane rides. At the beginning of our flight from Atlanta to LAX, my sweet Graham decided to get sick all over me. After 45 minutes of attempting to clean it up, I resigned myself to smelling horrible for the rest of the 4 hour flight. Just picture this: I had to take off some of my clothing so I looked quite sketchy; I was freezing because I was soaked; people all around us were complaining to each other and to the flight attendants about the smell...
I looked at Dave right after it happened (thinking we were in for a week of the stomach bug on our vacation) and I just cried saying, "why would Jesus let this happen when he knows it's my worst fear." My wise husband said, "Why don't you ask him?"
So I did. For three hours.
I had just read an article earlier that day about the fact that we say we love that God is in control, until his plan is different than ours. I realized in the course of those three hours that I had decided exactly what our family "needed" on that vacation. And I was not okay with God having a different idea.
This is an ongoing process in my life and I'm just grateful God isn't leaving me how I am but is gently revealing my sin and changing me.