Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On a Personal Note: on feeling mediocre

If there's one thing I feel about blogging, it's that I don't want to be boring in my posts.  And quite frankly, I've felt rather boring lately, hence the minimal posting.  I've been making the same meals over and over, wearing the same 4 outfits, doing grad school work in my free time and plugging Graham in front of the tv set when I need to shut my eyes for a few minutes.  None of my DIY projects are complete (several are half done).  I'm not very inspired by anything that I'm reading (although I feel that I should be) and I don't feel particularly proud of my wife or mom efforts lately.  I mean my only 2 goals today were to return something at the mall and get some necessities at Super Target.  After the returning errand (and throwing up my prenatal vitamin in the parking lot-sorry for that detail),  I could not muster the motivation to even make it to my second stop.  So I drove through chick-fil-a for a coke and headed home.

What I'm trying to let sink in, in the midst of this, is that God's view of me is the same on the days where I feel successful and productive and inspired as it is on the days where I feel lazy and inadequate and mediocre.  His opinion of me is not based on me, it is based on his love and grace toward me.  This is the essence of my relationship with Jesus.  That I bring nothing to the equation and he brings everything: grace, forgiveness, acceptance and even delight.  I am asked only to receive.  And how hard it is to receive.  Because it requires admitting need and inability to perfect myself.

"Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God."  - 2 Corinthians 3:5

I want to soak in this truth.  Freedom begins where my striving to be worthy and admirable ends.

30 weeks
And to make sure this post is not boring, here's what 30 weeks is looking like.  So close yet so far :)


  1. Truth. I love it! Thanks for posting Lauren!

  2. Hey Lauren! I wanted to thank you for being so vulnerable & honest on your blog. This was exactly what I needed to hear today and be encouraged in! So thankful for the Father's steadfast love and for this anchor of hope we have in Christ. -Leah Romulus

  3. Hi Lauren, I echo was Leah says about being honest and open on your blog.. and you've come to a good assessment. God does bring everything to our relationship with Him.. We have to allow Him to work through us and learn to accept his love and grace.. So many times most of us don't making our lives so much more difficult on us.. Hang in there :)

  4. Very nice post. Thank you for your honesty. This is exactly how I've been feeling lately too. I haven't made a blog post since October. I'm also 30 weeks pregnant. Maybe our minds are just preoccupied.

    Great picture!


  5. If you had to get a Coke, that's trouble. If it was Diet Coke, you've gone off the deep end. :) Nothing in my life feels completed or worthy of talking about these days, either. Thanks for sharing this.